I Thought Strengths Were for Rich and Famous People. Not Me

Some people grow up believing strengths are earned through achievement instead of something they inherently possess. Does that resonate with anyone...just me, cool.

Successful people.
Confident people.
People with businesses, money, connections, degrees, influence, discipline, consistency...whatever that magical thing was that I thought I lacked.

Not people like me.

Not the overthinkers
Not the job hoppers
Not the people starting over 17 times in life.
Not the people who felt one bad month away from falling apart financially.
Not the people who had potential but never quite seemed to do enough with it.

For most of my life, I genuinely could not wrap my head around the idea that I had strengths.

Weaknesses? Oh, I have a whole damn catalog of those memorized that roll around like a song on repeat.

I could tell you every reason I wasn't successful enough. Every reason I wasn't disciplined enough. Every unfinished project. Every inconsistency. Every time I got overwhelmed, burned out, distracted, emotionally exhausted, or convinced myself I was somehow behind everyone else.

But strengths?

No. Those belonged to other people. People like my Aunt Beth who owns an VERY successful business called Trainertainment. Or my cousin, Leslie, who was able to take a year or more off work to figure out her next step. Or my other Aunt Dee Dee who was incredibly successful as a travel agent and is retired now living comfortably. I could go on but, you get the jist.

And honestly, I think that goes deeper than just confidence.

I think some of us grow up believing our value only exists if we're producing something impressive enough for the world to notice. So if your life looks messy, inconsistent, emotional, nonlinear, or unfinished...you assume you must not be one of the people who has "real" strengths.

But lately, something has been shifting in me.

I've been forced to sit doesn't and really think about what I'm actually good at.

Not what I wish I was good at.
Not what looks impressive on paper or online.
Not what corporate culture rewards the loudest.

What am I actually naturally good at?

And weirdly enough, other people seem to know the answer before I do.

People tell me I make them feel understood.
That I explain things clearly.
That I help calm people down when they're overwhelmed.
That I make complicated things feel less intimidating.
That I'm good at connecting with people during difficult moments.

And my first instinct every single time is still:

“Yeah, but that’s not a real strength.”

Which honestly is wile when I think about it.

Because those things matter.

A lot.

Especially in a world where people are exhausted, disconnected, overwhelmed, burned out, emotionally flooded, and quietly trying to survive systems that were never built with actual humans in mind.

I think part of my problem is that I've spent so much of my life focused on where I struggle that I never stopped long enough to recognize where I naturally thrive.

And if I'm being REALLY honest... ADHD plays a role in this too.

I've spent years bouncing between jobs trying to figure out what "fits." I know job hopping is often looked at negatively, but I think for a lot of people with ADHD, it's more complicated than people realize.

You see, it's not always laziness.
Or lack of ambition.
Or inability to commit.

Sometimes it's the constant search for an environment where your brain can actually function without drowning.

Some jobs overstimulate you.
Some under-stimulate you.
Some slowly kill your mental health while convincing you that you should just be grateful to have a good paycheck at the end of the day.

And after enough burnout cycles, you start questioning yourself instead of questioning the environments you keep forcing yourself into.

That hits hard for me.

Because I've always wanted more for my life.

I've always wanted to be successful.
Wanted freedom
Stability
Meaningful work
But most importantly, a life that actually feels aligned with who I am instead of just surviving until Friday every week.

However, wanting something and believing you're capable of creating it are two very different things.

And maybe that's where I've been stuck.

“Not incapable.
Just disconnected from my own value.”

There are also things I avoided because they scared me.

Networking.
Putting myself out there.
Taking bigger risks.
Believing I belonged in bigger rooms.

Lately, I've been hyper focused on gardening.

Probably a little too hyper focused...

But there's something about it that feels symbolic now that I think about it.

Plants don't thrive in every environment.

Some need more sun.
Some need shade.
Some need room to spread out.
Some need support structures.
Some struggle in certain soil no matter how hard you try.

That doesn't mean the plant is broken.

And just maybe people aren't that different, right?

Maybe I kept trying to force myself into environments that were never designed for the way I naturally operate.

Maybe the problem was never that I lacked strengths.
Maybe I just never learned how to recognize them, trust them, or build a life around them.

I don't have it all figured out yet...obviously.

But I do know this:

I can't keep living my life looking backward at who I "should have" been by now.

I can't keep measuring myself only by what I haven't built yet.

And I definitely can't keep pretending I have nothing valuable to offer just because my path hasn't looked polished.

Maybe growing up isn't becoming a completely different person.

Maybe it's finally being honest about who you already are.

And for the first time in my life, I think I'm finally starting to see that clearly.