Why Finding a Therapist Feels Impossible — But You Should Do It Anyway

I haven’t talked to a therapist since March. Not because I don’t need one — I absolutely do. But when my insurance changed and my old therapist stopped taking it, I lost the one person I could vent to without guilt. And honestly? Starting over just sounded… exhausting.

Because if you know, you know. Finding a therapist isn’t just about checking a box. It’s about finding someone who can handle your messy middle — without flinching. And that takes work. Emotional labor. Vulnerability. Scheduling. Ugh.

Still, here I am — finally admitting that tomorrow is the day I’m going to start again. No more procrastinating. No more “I’ll do it after one more scroll.” I need to talk to someone. Not my spouse. Not a friend. Not even my cat. A real, licensed professional who won’t say “wow, that’s a lot” halfway through my first sentence.

When Family Just Isn’t Enough

Your support system might love you — but that doesn’t mean they’re qualified to help you process trauma, grief, or burnout. That’s not shade. It’s just the truth.

You wouldn’t expect your cousin to perform dental surgery, so why expect your partner or best friend to be your therapist?

There comes a point when “venting” isn’t enough. When the symptoms don’t go away. When the spiral starts. That’s when you need someone trained to help you climb out of the emotional pothole you’ve fallen into. Responsibly. Safely. Professionally.

Why Finding a Therapist Is So Damn Hard

Honestly? Because it’s overwhelming. Especially if you’ve been through some heavy stuff. Explaining your entire emotional landscape to a stranger is a lot. It takes energy most of us don’t have when we’re already struggling.

And let’s be real — nobody wants to spend three sessions giving backstory just to see if the therapist is a good fit. It’s like trauma speed dating. And I hate it. But it’s also necessary. So let’s make it suck less.

How to Actually Start the Process

1. Check your insurance provider’s list. Find therapists who are accepting new clients and covered by your plan. If you’re going online, I recommend this platform — it’s easy, private, and you don’t have to leave your house.
2. Gather a short list. Don’t just pick one name and hope it works. Get 3–5 options that sound like a good match. You’re allowed to shop around for your mental health.
3. Read their bios and specialties. Look for therapists who mention the things you struggle with (like anxiety, grief, trauma, ADHD, etc.). Bonus if they talk like a real person.
4. Book more than one consult. Seriously. You don’t have to marry the first therapist you talk to. See who makes you feel safe, heard, and respected.
5. Be real from the start. No need to sugarcoat your struggles. If you’re overwhelmed, say so. If you’ve got 40 years of stuff to unpack, say that too. A good therapist can handle it.

You Deserve Help That Actually Helps

Even if it takes a few tries. Even if you’re scared. Even if you don’t know where to start.

Healing is hard. But staying stuck? That’s harder. And honestly, you don’t need to do it alone. Whether it’s traditional therapy or online therapy, you deserve someone in your corner.

So here’s your nudge. Start small. Look up one name. Bookmark a bio. Send one email. That’s it. That’s the first step.

Quick Pep Talk (for Me and You)

• You’re not too much — even if you feel like it.
• You don’t have to “earn” therapy. You just have to need it.
• It’s okay if it takes a few tries to find the right fit.
• You don’t have to explain everything all at once.
• You deserve a safe space to unload and heal. No guilt required.

If you’re looking for a therapist who’s affordable, flexible, and doesn’t require shoes (hello, telehealth), click here to start the process. It’s private, convenient, and built for humans who are still figuring it out. Like me. Like you.

Your brain deserves backup. Go get yours.

By: Jess E