Overcoming Decision Fatigue: Thinking During Life Transitions

When Everything Feels Like Too Much

Overcoming decision fatigue during major life transitions is so real — and nobody talks about it. I didn’t even know it was a thing until about six months ago. But once I heard the term, it clicked like a seatbelt in a car I’d already crashed into.

In regular-people speak, decision fatigue is what happens when your brain is just done making choices — even the small ones. What to eat. What to wear. How to word that one email you’ve already rewritten three times. It’s like trying to run errands with 1% battery and no charger in sight.

→ If you’ve ever felt mentally fried but couldn’t figure out why, you might love my post on Neurodivergent Burnout.

I remember sitting at my old desk in what was supposed to be my dream job (we’re gonna leave the name out for obvious reasons) and just… staring. I couldn’t figure out what to do next because there were so many things competing for my attention. Every day meant answering 50 to 75 emails — most of which had to be handled within two hours — while also staying available on the phones, attending client Zoom trainings, updating status reports, managing projects for multiple clients, maintaining relationships with C-levels, helping coworkers, and never, ever stopping.

So yeah… decision fatigue? It’s not just about being tired. It’s about the mental gridlock that happens when life demands everything from you and leaves no room to breathe.

What Is Decision Fatigue—and Why Does It Hit So Hard During Life Changes?

Decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon where the quality of our decisions declines after a long session of decision-making. It’s not just in your head — it’s in your brain chemistry. Every time you make a decision (from “What should I eat?” to “Should I confront my boss?”), your brain uses a little bit of its executive function fuel. Over time — and especially under stress — that fuel runs out.

By the end of a stressful day or season of life, you’re not being lazy. You’re literally mentally exhausted.

I’m convinced decision fatigue is what cost me my job. And it doesn’t just show up at work. It sneaks in during caregiving, divorce, job loss, identity shifts, grief, moving — basically any time life punches you in the gut and expects you to make 100 more decisions anyway.

 “It’s not that you’re indecisive. You’re just tired of making decisions no one sees you making.”
— The Purple Owl

Signs You Might Be Dealing with Decision Fatigue

I used to come home from work and just cry. Not because of one big thing — but because all the tiny, relentless decisions throughout the day had chipped away at my brain until there was nothing left to hold it together.

At one point, I was only seeing my family for two hours a night. And during those two hours, I wasn’t helpful, present, or even kind. I wasn’t helping around the house, which meant it all fell on Jen and the kids. I felt like a worthless mom, wife, and friend.

Even before that job chewed me up, I noticed the signs creeping in: I’d get irritated doing things that were supposed to be fun. I’d lose focus halfway through a hobby. I’d shut down emotionally when someone asked me to make another “simple” decision.

 Quick Self-Check:

• You feel overwhelmed by even small choices
• You mentally rehearse conversations 10 times before sending a simple email
• You procrastinate or avoid decisions that don’t seem “urgent”
• You’re irritable, snappy, or emotionally numb
• You feel physically exhausted even after rest
• You delay tasks because your brain feels stalled
• You say “I don’t know” more than usual — and mean it

How I’m Learning to Overcome Decision Fatigue (One Tiny Choice at a Time)

Let’s be real: I haven’t mastered this. I still spiral. But here are a few things that have helped me start to climb out of the mental quicksand — or at least pause the sinking.

1. I Limit the Number of Decisions I Have to Make

I pre-choose meals, clothes, and keep my daily plans simple. Removing even 3 tiny choices has helped clear more room in my brain.

2. I Write Things Down

I brain dump into notebooks, apps, or random paper. Just getting it out helps my brain stop trying to juggle.

3. I Take Breaks Before I Hit a Wall

If I’m staring blankly too long, I step away — even for 5 minutes.

4. I Use a 3-Question Filter:

• Does this need a decision today?
• Will it matter in a month?
• What would I tell someone I love in this moment?

What’s Helped Me Most (and Why I’m Not the Same Anymore)

If I had to name the thing that’s helped me the most lately, it’s hands down — my garden.

It’s dirt. It’s weeds. It’s me out there in my sweats, barefoot most of the time, picking at the ground like it owes me money. But here’s the thing: I don’t have to decide to do it. I want to. That’s the difference.

→ If your mental battery’s running on fumes from parenting chaos on top of everything else, you’ll probably relate to Event 3: Parenting Cage Fight. It’s my unfiltered take on what it’s like when family life turns into the emotional Olympics.

Since getting let go from my job, I’ve had time to rediscover joy. I help around the house more. And my wife calls me the Energizer Bunny now.

I just know I don’t want to go back to being the person who came home, sat on the couch scrolling through my phone, and call that a life. I want more than survival. I want presence.

You’re Not Broken — You’re Just Burned the Hell Out

Even though I’m still figuring this shit out, just learning about decision fatigue has been freeing. It gave a name to what I was going through. It connected the dots.

Next time, I’ll see the signs. And baby — if I can recognize it, anyone can.

You don’t have to wait for rock bottom to do something different. Start small. Start weird. Start wherever you are. But start.

By: Jess E

💭 For journaling that actually helps you feel lighter, I love Burn After Writing — sometimes the page is the only place that can hold it all.

 If this resonated, share it with someone who’s staring at the ceiling instead of making decisions.

From The Owl’s Nest
If your brain feels fried from too many choices and too little breathing room, you’re not alone. Decision fatigue can sneak in anywhere—work, family, even the quiet moments when you’re supposed to be resting.

If this post hit home, you’ll probably love these too:

• Event 3: Parenting Cage Fight — because sometimes the emotional Olympics happen right in your own living room.
• What Neurodivergent Burnout Really Feels Like — when your brain just needs permission to stop performing.

And if you’re ready to start untangling the chaos one small decision at a time, check out Online Therapy. It’s been a game-changer for slowing the noise and finding clarity again.