🦉 Emotional Olympics: Event 3 – Parenting Cage Fight

If parenting had referees, we’d both be disqualified by round two.

Welcome to Event 3 of the Emotional Olympics...also known as Parenting Cage Fight.

This event requires endurance, emotional regulation, and the ability to break up arguments over who gets the front seat without losing your sanity.

Spoiler alert: there are no gold medals here, just growth… and maybe a few therapy bills.

Round One: The Early Years of Chaos

The girls always woke up before we did. Every. Single. Morning.

They shared a room, which meant “morning peace” didn’t exist in our household. Sometimes they’d sneak into our bed; most mornings, they’d wake the neighborhood before the coffee was even brewing.

One morning stands out...the infamous butter knife battle.

Jen and I were jolted awake by screaming. We rushed into the kitchen to find Sophie waving a butter knife at Vanna, yelling about who got to use the microwave first. You’d think there was one last slice of pizza on Earth the way they were going at it.

Once we diffused the situation (and confiscated all sharp objects within a five-foot radius), I was livid. How dare another child come after my baby?

That was my mindset back then, to protect mine, defend mine, because she was the one I understood best.

Funny enough, that wasn’t even the last food-related duel. Another time, Vanna got her revenge… with a fork. I can’t even remember why. It was probably something equally ridiculous.

Back then, I thought parenting meant defending my kid at all costs.
Now I know it’s about protecting everyone’s peace...including my own.

🪶 Related: Ever feel like you’re ghosting yourself just to keep the peace? Stop Ghosting Yourself

💡 Gentle Tool for Parents Who Feel Triggered:
I wish I’d had this when the butter knife hit the fan — Set Boundaries Find, Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab is a great way to process those big emotions before reacting (affiliate link).

Round Two: Diagnoses and Differences

Let’s fast forward a bit. Both girls have been through psych evals. Vanna has OCD and generalized anxiety, and Sophie has ADHD, borderline ODD, and anxiety.

They’re both strong-willed, passionate, and competitive in literally everything:
Who gets the front seat.
Who pours the last Capri Sun.
Who loves their mom the most.

At this point, I’m convinced they could argue over oxygen.

The tension wasn’t always about the fight itself. It was about how we saw “fairness.”
I’ve always believed life isn’t fair. Jen, on the other hand, comes from a previous marriage where “fair” was sacred.

So between two girls keeping score and two parents doing the same (but pretending not to), it’s no wonder our family dynamic sometimes felt like a four-way wrestling match.

💜 Parenting with neurodivergent kids means learning to stop competing for control and start creating calm. Even when it feels impossible.

Round Three: Parenting as a Team (Take Three)

When Jen and I got back together (for the third time, technically), we made a pact:

• Same page.
• Same rules.
• No momma bear rivalries.

We even started family meetings so the girls could feel heard. For a while, it worked beautifully.

We listened.
We communicated.
We even laughed together.

Then, of course life happened.

Softball season happened. Exhaustion happened. And slowly, all those good intentions started to fade away.

I noticed the little cracks first. You know the cracks. The eye rolls, the “forgetting” of chores, the quiet tension between Jen and me when one of us said “yes” while the other said “absolutely not.”

Whew! Consistency is exhausting. Especially when you’re constantly being tested by teenagers who could and do argue for sport. But I can feel the biggest difference when we slack off, in the girls, in the house, and in our marriage.

That’s why we’ve decided it’s time to bring family meetings back. Because when we stop talking, the disconnection grows.

And we can’t afford to lose our team again.

💡 It’s a tool I wish had existed back then, but if you’re in the thick of it now, grab a copy of What Neurodivergent Children Need You to Know — it’s the kind of perspective-shifting resource I wish we’d had when we were trying to figure it all out.

Round Four: Boundaries Aren’t Optional

Not all the fights were between the girls.

There were times early on when Jen and Beth (Jen's oldest daughter) clashed, and those fights got heated, even physical not once, but twice. Jen got bit during one of them.

And when Beth pushed me, that was the moment I laid down a hard, non-negotiable boundary:
No domestic violence, ever.
Not between adults. Not between kids. Not in my home.

Everyone knows that boundary now.

It’s the one boundary that doesn’t bend, doesn’t fade, doesn’t get “talked through.” And it's the boundary that I should've stood by in the beginning.

Boundaries aren’t punishment. They’re protection for everyone involved.

Round Five: Teenagers, Door Slams, and Do-Overs

After we all moved in together and just before we got married, the fights started to sound different. Less about butter knives, more about independence and identity.

The first time Vanna screamed “I hate you” at Jen, it broke something in her.
And honestly? I got it. Not the hate, but the hurt. Because being a parent means loving someone through their ugliest phases and still showing up the next morning.

People say, “If your teen doesn’t hate you sometimes, you’re not doing it right.”
I hate that phrase, but there’s a little truth to it.

We’re still learning. We’re bringing back chore charts and family meetings.
We’re learning that consistency doesn’t mean perfection. It just means not giving up when it gets messy.

Softball season throws us off every year.
Schedules go out the window.
Communication slips.
But even in the chaos, we’re trying again, together.

Because the truth is, we’ve both grown a lot. And when we grow, our family grows with us.

Round Six: The Real Win

Parenting in a blended family isn’t about who’s right, who’s “the better parent,” or who’s keeping score. It’s about showing up, admitting when you’ve messed up, and choosing connection over control, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Our family isn’t perfect. We bicker, we backslide, and sometimes we forget to listen. But we always come back. And that’s what matters most.

Maybe the real gold medal in parenting isn’t peace. Maybe it’s persistence.

Round Seven: The Family Meeting Rematch

Our first new family meeting is officially on the calendar. And yes, I already have a whole list of “discussion points” (aka mom agenda items) ready to go.

This time, I want to make sure the girls get to share their input too. I want to hear what chores they think they can handle, what’s been bothering them, and what they think would make our home feel calmer.

Of course, these will be suggestions, and mostly not up for negotiation because at the end of the day, we still have to be the parent.

But I really do believe kids today are wired differently. They’re growing up in a world where emotional awareness isn’t optional and they’re demanding to be heard. They won’t just be told to “go play outside” while the grown-ups talk anymore.

And honestly? I kind of love that.

Yes, I know every family has their own version of what works (and what doesn’t), and mine is just that, an opinion. But I do think we’re evolving as parents, as partners, and hopefully as a society.

At least, that’s the plan. Maybe that evolution conversation is for another day... after the family meeting, of course.

And maybe that’s what this whole “Parenting Cage Fight” thing has been about, you know, learning that love isn’t quiet or perfect, but persistent. We show up, talk it out, and grow through it, even when we’d rather tag out.

🦉 From The Owl’s Nest

If your house feels like the emotional Olympics too, you’re not alone. Here’s your permission slip to breathe, reset, and stop expecting yourself to parent perfectly.

Because the truth is, none of us are winning events here.

We’re just surviving them… together. 💜

These are affiliate links (no extra cost to you — I just get a small thank-you if you grab something through my link).

• 📘 What Neurodivergent Children Need From You – The calm-in-the-chaos parenting book I wish existed years ago.
• ✏️ Parenting Journal for Overwhelmed Moms – For when you need to unpack your feelings before you explode.
• 🧩 Family Meeting Planner Pad – Because “we’ll talk later” never actually happens.
• ☕ Therapy in a Mug (a.k.a. Chamomile Tea) – For post-cage-fight decompression time.

💜 Affiliate disclosure: I only share what’s been part of my own messy journey.

P.S. If this week’s chaos hits home, hit comment and tell me what’s been your personal ‘Parenting Olympics’ event lately. 😂