Anxiety, Exams, and the Power of Showing Up Anyway
Yesterday, I missed my usual post. Not because I forgot. Not because I didn’t care. But because I was deep in the throes of anxiety-fueled cramming for my Accident, Life, and Health Insurance Exam. And let me tell you — I wasn’t feeling confident. At all.
This morning, I woke up with my heart pounding and my hands literally shaking. I was convinced there was no way I’d pass. My brain kept saying, “You’re not as sharp as you used to be.” I was one click away from canceling the whole thing.
It got so intense I had to take a propranolol just to stop shaking long enough to function. And of course, once that shame spiral started — How can I possibly pass if I have to medicate to calm down? — I really felt like bailing.
But then, my wife, Jen, did what she does best: snapped me back to reality. She grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said,
“What’s the worst that could happen? You fail and take it again? That’s okay. You can just do it again — that simple.”
And just like that, something shifted.
I showed up. I embraced the nerves. I sat for the exam. And guess what?
I PASSED.
To top it off, when I told my oldest daughter, she beamed and said,
“See girl, I wasn’t even worried. If I’m being completely honest, I had full faith you could do it. CONGRATULATIONS, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!”
Cue the waterworks.
Here’s what I’m learning:
Sometimes your fear throws a full-blown temper tantrum. Sometimes your hands shake and your brain lies and you have to lean on people who love you to remind you you’re still capable.
And then? You show up anyway.
Today, I’m riding the high of facing down the fear and proving to myself that even when I’m overwhelmed, I’m not out. I’m growing. I’m healing. And I’m a licensed badass now, thank you very much.
So if you’re having your own “oh no, I can’t do this” moment today?
Pause. Breathe. Maybe even freak out a little. But don’t quit.
You might just be one panicked moment away from proving yourself wrong — in the best possible way.
By: Jess E
